In 2020, I attended the five mindfulness trainings and transmission ceremony so that I could facilitate on a night like tonight. The ceremony helped deepen my practice, and wiped me out. I was forced to rest, and at the same time, stay with the practice that took me to a deeper place where I could ground myself and stay solid and present. Since the trainings, I take walks and recite them in my mind, sometimes tripping up on one or more, but eventually remembering them all.

This third training, True Love, is the hardest one for me. While true love sounds like the highest and happiest, most self-fulfilling as the recipient of true love, the description is full of what is hard to know and face and worry about when love is absent. I worry about the children and the victims of rape and violence and misguided sexual behavior. I want our world to be kind and loving.

What is true love? Do we overuse the L word, do we mean it when we say it, or are we putting it out there to get an “I Love You” back? When my son was just born, I said I love you. Like most new parents, I said it numerous times a day, but felt there was something lacking in the word “love”…

Dear Thay, dear friends,

On Monday we will share our memories of loved ones who have passed on and reflect on our experiences with grief. Several local sanghas (Washington Mindfulness Community and Still Water Practice Center) offer this type of evening on an annual basis, and we have found them deeply nourishing and, at times, transformative.

There is something about sharing our experience of grief in community that, as Francis Weller writes, “...helps us to stretch into our bigger selves; we are offered the opportunity to develop a living relationship with loss. We can recover a faith in grief that recognizes that grief is not here to take us hostage, but instead to reshape us in some fundamental way, to help us become our mature selves, capable of living in the creative tension between grief and gratitude. In so doing, our hearts are ripened and made available for the great work of loving our lives and this astonishing world.”

(photo: M.Neustadt)

As we come together tonight March 8th, we are 5 days away from marking one year since our lives were changed by the COVID-19 pandemic. March 13th, 2020 was the last day that many of us went to work, saw our co-workers and in some cases our clients or patients in person.

These milestones of anniversaries, birthdays and holidays provide a structure to our lives. They are markers that can move us to reflect on the past, root ourselves in the present, and turn our eyes to the future. There has no doubt been great suffering over the past year. Over the past month many of my clients in therapy have spoken about feeling the cumulative effects grief and loss. With the weight of loss, there can also be hope.

Once, during a Beginning Anew practice on retreat at Plum Village, my 10-year old son shared some suffering with me. He said that he felt hurt that I was always on my email and not paying attention to him. Hearing this made me very sad and I sincerely wanted to change. Over the years, I have gotten better, but giving my full attention to other people can still be a challenge for me. I can get caught up and distracted by what I am doing or thinking and miss the other person right in front of me. I have also seen other people get distracted like this when I am with them. More technology gives us more distractions.

Thay says that when we love someone, we should give them our full presence. Sometimes it is most challenging to be present for our loved ones because we take them for granted. And certainly they need to be our priority. I would like to extend my presence to be fully there for the people I pass the street in our masks or the person checking us out at the grocery store. Our presence is a gift, and to truly be there is a generous act. The first of the four love mantras can help by reminding ourselves, "I am here for you."

This evening I thought I would take us in a slightly different direction than our dharma sharings in recent weeks. For a long long time I have been very interested in certain aspects of Japanese culture. One concept from early on captured my attention, that of Wabi-Sabi. There are many ways in which to think about this idea, but if someone asked me to briefly explain I would say something along the lines of there being beauty in imperfection. If you dig a little deeper into the term you will find it can be used to describe a group of feelings and ideas related to impermanence, imperfection and also extends to include feelings of melancholy.

Interestingly, this concept is placed at the center of many aspects of Japanese aesthetics, art and culture. The idea that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect can be contrasted with what we in the West place at the center of our own notions of beauty and perfection. In his wonderful book Wabi-sabi: for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers Leonard Koren explores how this truth comes from the observation of nature:

Dear friends,

I’m not sure how you experienced January 1st this year. For me, it came and went all in a blur of uncertainty and unrest. This year, more than ever, I am so happy to have another chance-- to greet the Lunar New Year, the Year of the Ox, and to honor Thich Nhat Hanh and our many sangha members, friends and family across the world on this important holiday.

We will celebrate the New Year tonight by practicing the Five Touchings of the Earth together. This is a regular practice in Plum Village and a sacred way to express gratitude and generate joy. It’s an occasion that brings us into touch with the earth and its reality. It’s a time to reflect on the land we live on and all of the ancestors who made it available to us. It’s a time to begin anew, with fresh plans and renewed vigor. If you choose to do prostrations that allow your full body to be in touch with the ground/floor beneath you, you may prepare a space before sangha with a yoga mat or rug to support you. Alternate seated or half-prostrations will be demonstrated…

I remember the first time I was struck by the sound of silence. I was nineteen years old and had recently arrived from Puerto Rico to attend college in Florida. I had never noticed how loud the vibrations of silence could feel. During that stage of my life all I could associate with silence was pure loneliness. The next day I called my mother to tell her that I was returning home. Looking back at all the lessons I have learned about living with silence since then, I am grateful that she opposed my return.

The memories of my childhood bring me back to a warm island so small that there was little physical space between people. In that convivial society I regularly heard all kinds of conversations and/or music coming from open windows. While reading for pleasure was not commonly practiced in my circle, there was a rich oral tradition. I often found myself in gatherings in which everyone was expected to participate in conversations no matter how trivial. Reading in public, at the dinner table or to each other was unheard of. Other than in Catholic ceremonies, sitting in silence with others was quite rare. I was taught to believe that being silent was lonely and anti-social…

Last week we shared the 5 Mindfulness Trainings together with a focus on the 1st Training, Reverence for Life. Adriana and Annie shared with us the atrocities of violence and killings of Black, Brown, and Indigenous people, and that many in this country do not acknowledge or value all beings. They went on to share that if we truly practiced Reverence for Life, we could begin to "remove the borders in our hearts and give the same value to all lives." I thank them for these reminders of awakening to the suffering of all beings and to come back to the true practice of mindfulness, respect, and understanding for all lives.

This week, Adriana and Annie will co-facilitate. We will read the Five Mindfulness Trainings and dive deeply into the First.

Last month, I listened to members of our sangha beautifully reading the first mindfulness training: Reverence for Life. It resonated so clearly in my heart and unveiled the long way we have to walk as practitioners to be close to the real meaning of this training.

There is no doubt that the life of white people is valued immensely more than the life of black, brown, and indigenous people in most countries of the world. This is a fact and the basis of the systems of oppression we see in these countries.

If we contrast each sentence of the first mindfulness training with the reality that has been in front of our eyes and that we have ignored as a society, we are far from realizing this training.

When Thich Nhath Hanh describes the first mindfulness training he says:

“The first training is to protect life, to decrease violence in oneself, in the family, and in society”

To talk about what is happening in the US, where the majority of this sangha is practicing, we may recognize the atrocities of slavery and the practices that have been continually perpetuated against African-Americans.

But, for a lot of liberal people, we may believe that discrimination against Latin-American migrants is a problem of the administration that ended on Inauguration Day last week…

One of the few upsides of the last year is that there is no doubt that we are living “in history”. As the famous quote by Lenin states: “There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks when decades happen.” However, one of the fiercest critics of the man behind this particular quote was George Orwell. If we have not all read Animal Farm and 1984 then we are all at least aware of their themes. I would be surprised if there is any author living or alive who has been more often quoted over the last year than Orwell. In the last couple of weeks those on the left, right and middle could all be seen/heard throwing out their various Orwell quotes in support of their own beliefs and actions of others.

So what you might think has this got to do with our practice and what if anything might Orwell be able to offer our Sangha. Reflecting on this there are some pretty rich pickings not only from the aforementioned books but also from his numerous short articles. Picking on just one of his many recurring themes is his skepticism of anyone or anything which promises happiness. Orwell, observed that at best such moments of happiness would be fleeting and astutely he observed first hand the powerful allure of promises made by leaders of returning people either to a happier past or promise of a happier nirvana like a future. He equally observed at close quarters suffering (or as we term it Dukkah) and its root causes and communicated this in words which engage readers to this day.

In our practice this evening I would like to share with you a 13 minute video that I find both comforting and nourishing. In this video the Plum Village monks and nuns are chanting Avalokitesvara. Avalokitesvara is the Bodhisattva of Compassion.

While the past several months I have practiced deep compassion for those who have suffered greatly from the pandemic, racial violence, oppression, loss of homes and loss of family members, I have practiced the least in my own back yard ignoring calls for help and understanding and causing suffering to myself and loved ones.

In the last couple Monday night gatherings our discussions have revolved around how to practice together during times of stress and how to let go of what gets in the way and to practice self compassion. The Five Mindfulness Trainings consistently remind us to practice compassion and understanding in all we do. They encourage us to build peace and happiness in ourselves and family and then naturally allowing that to radiate to others. The practice for me is to practice - and not just hear the words but to engage in body and mind.

An experience this morning reminded me of how I can easily forget to share that compassion and understanding with family. My husband who has been suffering greatly with family issues and, like many others in this pandemic, has had challenges with his business, has been reaching out for help and I have not really been present for him…

Dear Thay, dear friends,

Last week, we had a rich exploration of the Fifth Mindfulness Training, Nourishment and Healing. Many of us shared how certain habit energies prevent us from being in the present moment and how difficult it is to change them - even when we know they are not helping.

No wonder this is challenging! These practices are difficult, even in the easiest of times, let alone now, amidst growing inequality, extreme suffering and uncertainty throughout the world. After all, we interare.

This week, we will watch part of a Dharma Talk, Practicing in a Stressful Environment in which Thich Nhat Hanh describes a concrete process that can help us to transform these habit energies by carefully tending to the seeds in our consciousness. Here is a brief description of the process, from his book, Touching Peace: According to Buddhist psychology, our consciousness is divided into two parts, like a house with two floors. On the ground floor there is a living room, and we call this “mind consciousness.” Below the ground level, there is a basement, and we call this “store consciousness” In the store consciousness, everything we have ever done, experienced, or perceived is stored in the form of a seed, or a film. Our basement is an archive of every imaginable kind of film stored on a videocassette. Upstairs in the living room, we sit in a chair and watch these films as they are brought up from the basement.

The past eight months have brought glaring change, uncertainty and a new experience of life. In this experience that has often included heightened anxiety, and frustration it has become all the more apparent that just like the breath and the body, the mindfulness teachings are something that are always there for us. We always have the capacity to pause, to stop and breathe and take care of ourselves. One of the greatest fruits of the practice for me over the years has been the practice of learning to be with strong or challenging feelings…

The Earth Touchings are a Buddhist meditation practice where we bow down or prostrate ourselves, and surrender to the Earth to offer gratitude and respect. We join the mind and body to help us "return to the Earth and to our roots, and to recognize that we are not alone but connected to a whole stream of spiritual and blood ancestors. We touch the Earth to let go of the idea that we are separate and to remind us that we are the Earth and part of life. When we touch the Earth, we breathe in all the strength and stability of the Earth, and breathe out our suffering - our feelings of anger, hatred, fear, inadequacy and grief. This is a wonderful practice." (From Plum Village website).

During this practice, we will begin by joining our palms together in the shape of a lotus bud place them on our hearts and listen to the first part of one Touching. Then we will either fully prostrate on the ground, take a child’s pose, or simply bow where we are. If you are prostrating, our palms will face up, showing our openness to the Three Jewels - the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. While we are bowing, we will listen to the remainder of the reading of the Touching and experience it as fully as we can. The additional touchings will follow in the same way. The Five Earth Touchings can be found here.

Dear Friends,

We will come together this week to meditate together and reflect on Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay)'s engaged practice during the war in Vietnam, and how it might support our practice today.

During the war, Thay spoke out for peace many times, fighting injustice while trying not to demonize one side or the other or create division and hatred. It seems like we can learn something from these teachings.

The words above and the poems below have been supporting my own processing of the U.S. election this week and how I might move forward to most completely live into my practice and my Bodhisattva vows.

The main questions that I have been chewing on are these:

• How do we care for our feelings of anger/protectiveness, disappointment, and fear while not simultaneously excluding anyone from our hearts?

• How do we support the awakening of every single being-- not just those we agree with-- and invite them to join our healing movements and practices?