We invite you to join us for online every first Thursday of the month morning Mindful Caregiving sangha.
Mindful Caregiving
These mindful caregiving sessions are open to all who identify as caregivers. The topics and discussions of this group will be rooted in mindfulness practice and will aim to support those in a parental role, caretaking for an elder, or experiencing another type of caregiving situation by creating a compassionate, reflective space to come together.
No prior experience with mindfulness is necessary—all are welcome. There are no restrictions to join. While there is no fee, we invite participants to offer dana (a practice of generosity) to help sustain the gathering.
Format: 7:00 am-7:25 am meditation period and 7:25-8:00 am dharma sharing.
For questions about the Mindful Caregivers group, please contact facilitator Jenny Medvene-Collins.
No previous mindfulness or meditation experience is necessary.
No fees, donations are always welcome.
Monthly Topic
When Giving Is All We Have
One river gives
Its journey to the next.
We give because someone gave to us.
We give because nobody gave to us.
We give because giving has changed us.
We give because giving could have changed us.
We have been better for it,
We have been wounded by it—
Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet,
Big, though small, diamond in wood-nails.
Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too,
But we read this book, anyway, over and again:
Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand,
Mine to yours, yours to mine.
You gave me blue and I gave you yellow.
Together we are simple green. You gave me
What you did not have, and I gave you
What I had to give—together, we made
Something greater from the difference.
Jenny shares: I have loved this poem for many years. It has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and I recently realized that I wrote a topic based on this same poem years ago, in a different context. I’d like to return to the poem now, as I think the roots of it speak to so many different experiences, and can be especially relevant to us as caregivers.
Giving is a word that carries a lot of weight. It has many meanings, forms, expressions, and acts. While I don’t think it’s important to agree on one shared definition, I do think it can be helpful to consider how we each think about giving in our roles as caregivers.
In my role as a classroom teacher, which is the lens I used to write about this poem the last time I really thought about it, I was very sure how I felt about giving. I felt confident that I understood what it meant for my students and what it had the potential to do. It felt relatively straightforward that students would give to others, and others would give back to them – reciprocity. As a caregiver, giving has felt more complicated. I think more these days about how much we give, and question whether there are or should be limits to giving. And, if there are such limits put on this beautiful and important thing we so regularly do, what can they look like for caregivers?
In my current stage of caregiving, I am asked to give often, and the asks for what or how to give vary tremendously. I know why I give. I have an infinite amount of memories of what giving has looked like for me throughout my life. It has been modeled for me endlessly, in beautiful, generous, and sometimes sacrificial ways. In recent years, I have become the primary giver in my caregiving situations. I didn’t used to think too much about whether there is a point of too much giving, or what was needed for a primary giver to be able to sustain all that giving. It almost feels like a selfish wondering, and yet, as caregivers, we have to be sustained enough within ourselves in order to continuously give. We are not giving simple gifts, or other such concrete items, but rather giving of ourselves. I have wondered lately if the giving that we do requires some amount being poured back into us – not necessarily from the people we are giving to, but a more reciprocal source of giving nonetheless. I wonder if it feels like there is a limit to how much we can give, what are those limits and when do we feel them? If we do not feel any such limits, what sustains us so that we can continue giving of ourselves day after day, year after year, in whatever form is asked of us?
When we meet next, online, I would love to hear how other caregivers are feeling about the topic of giving and what sustains us so that we can be these giving vessels that we are so often asked to be, while still feeling full enough ourselves.