On Monday night, I will share with you a practice of ‘skillful speaking and deep listening’. I have been trying it out over the past year. I was inspired to take this up by a sharing guideline for multi-cultural gatherings that Valerie Brown offered during our 2021 OHMC annual retreat:

Practice “Both / And”: When speaking, substitute “and” for “but”. This practice acknowledges and honors multiple realities.

Sounds simple and straightforward enough, doesn’t it? I never dreamed it would be so challenging! My hablt energy when someone offers a new idea or way of doing something is to flip into ‘critical thinking’ mode-- perhaps linked to years of program evaluation work and deep seeds in my store consciousness? Rather than listening deeply and acknowledging the speaker, I get busy inside my head coming up with a response that often may start off “Yes, but….”. I may interrupt the speaker with questions or offer alternative views before they have had a chance to finish. Clearly, in this pattern, I am not being very mindful to acknowledge nor honor multiple realities.

We can see ourselves as gardeners and those we are in relationship with as our garden. Knowing that whatever we water grows, what kind of seeds do we want to water and cultivate in our dear ones? What kind of seeds do we want to avoid watering and cultivating?

The practice of Beginning Anew, developed by Thich Nhat Hanh and the Plum Village sangha helps us to take good care of our relationships by bringing the best of ourselves to the other and bringing out the best in our beloved ones. We know that we have many wholesome qualities inside of us and so do the people in our lives. If we ignore these qualities and only focus on what is not going well, we do ourselves and others a real disservice, missing many precious opportunities to enjoy and delight in each other.

Just as in spring we consider what seeds we want to plant to enjoy later in the year, be it flowers, fruits or vegetables, so it is with selecting which seeds we need to plant or nurture in our deep consciousness. As Thay writes: “Whether we have happiness or not depends on the seeds in our consciousness. If our seeds of compassion, understanding, and love are strong, those qualities will be able to manifest in us. If the seeds of anger, hostility, and sadness in us are strong, then we will experience much suffering”.

Every act we make through our body, speech and mind sows seeds in our consciousness, and our store consciousness preserves and maintains these seeds. Our (hopefully) daily practice is to recognize and water the wholesome seeds in ourselves and in others. Our happiness and the happiness of others depends on this!

The first step toward becoming an accomplished gardener is to develop our awareness of how the quality of our lives is influenced by the seeds that have been watered. Everything that affects our consciousness enters metaphorically as a seed. The work of the gardener is that of gatekeeper and protector of the garden of our consciousness. Thay explains “Our mind is a field, in which every kind of seed is sown—seeds of compassion, joy, and hope, seeds of sorrow, fear, and difficulties.”

Dear Friends,

Intention or aspiration is one of the four kinds of nutriments that the Buddha explored in the Discourse on the Four Kinds of Nutriments.

As a way to remember my intention and aspiration to wake up, I have recently started to chant before each sitting an adapted version of the ‘Incense Offering’ (I call it the ‘Heart Offering’). This Monday evening I will share this chant at the beginning of our meditation period.

I also regularly recite “Invoking the Names of the Bodhisattvas,” where I remember and cultivate awakened qualities embodied by the Five Great Bodhisattvas of Avalokiteshvara, Manjushri, Samantabhadra, Kshitigarbha, and Sadaparibhuta.

As Thich Nhat Hanh explained in a 1998 Dharma talk:

Bodhisattvas are awakened beings. We also have our nature of awakening, no less than they, but we have to train ourselves. One way is to practice invoking the names of the great bodhisattvas—Avalokiteshvara (Regarder of the Cries of the World), Manjushri (Great Understanding), Samantabhadra (Universal Goodness), and Kshitigarbha (Earth Store). When we recite their names in a deep, relaxed way, every word can touch our hearts and the hearts of those listening. In the beginning, we still feel separate from these bodhisattvas. But, practicing steadily, we realize that we are Avalokiteshvara, Manjushri, Samantabhadra, and Kshitigarbha. It is not important whether they were historic figures, born in such and such a year or in such and such a place. The key is to realize their qualities within ourselves…

In 2020, I attended the five mindfulness trainings and transmission ceremony so that I could facilitate on a night like tonight. The ceremony helped deepen my practice, and wiped me out. I was forced to rest, and at the same time, stay with the practice that took me to a deeper place where I could ground myself and stay solid and present. Since the trainings, I take walks and recite them in my mind, sometimes tripping up on one or more, but eventually remembering them all.

This third training, True Love, is the hardest one for me. While true love sounds like the highest and happiest, most self-fulfilling as the recipient of true love, the description is full of what is hard to know and face and worry about when love is absent. I worry about the children and the victims of rape and violence and misguided sexual behavior. I want our world to be kind and loving.

What is true love? Do we overuse the L word, do we mean it when we say it, or are we putting it out there to get an “I Love You” back? When my son was just born, I said I love you. Like most new parents, I said it numerous times a day, but felt there was something lacking in the word “love”…

Dear Thay, dear friends,

On Monday we will share our memories of loved ones who have passed on and reflect on our experiences with grief. Several local sanghas (Washington Mindfulness Community and Still Water Practice Center) offer this type of evening on an annual basis, and we have found them deeply nourishing and, at times, transformative.

There is something about sharing our experience of grief in community that, as Francis Weller writes, “...helps us to stretch into our bigger selves; we are offered the opportunity to develop a living relationship with loss. We can recover a faith in grief that recognizes that grief is not here to take us hostage, but instead to reshape us in some fundamental way, to help us become our mature selves, capable of living in the creative tension between grief and gratitude. In so doing, our hearts are ripened and made available for the great work of loving our lives and this astonishing world.”

(photo: M.Neustadt)

As we come together tonight March 8th, we are 5 days away from marking one year since our lives were changed by the COVID-19 pandemic. March 13th, 2020 was the last day that many of us went to work, saw our co-workers and in some cases our clients or patients in person.

These milestones of anniversaries, birthdays and holidays provide a structure to our lives. They are markers that can move us to reflect on the past, root ourselves in the present, and turn our eyes to the future. There has no doubt been great suffering over the past year. Over the past month many of my clients in therapy have spoken about feeling the cumulative effects grief and loss. With the weight of loss, there can also be hope.

Once, during a Beginning Anew practice on retreat at Plum Village, my 10-year old son shared some suffering with me. He said that he felt hurt that I was always on my email and not paying attention to him. Hearing this made me very sad and I sincerely wanted to change. Over the years, I have gotten better, but giving my full attention to other people can still be a challenge for me. I can get caught up and distracted by what I am doing or thinking and miss the other person right in front of me. I have also seen other people get distracted like this when I am with them. More technology gives us more distractions.

Thay says that when we love someone, we should give them our full presence. Sometimes it is most challenging to be present for our loved ones because we take them for granted. And certainly they need to be our priority. I would like to extend my presence to be fully there for the people I pass the street in our masks or the person checking us out at the grocery store. Our presence is a gift, and to truly be there is a generous act. The first of the four love mantras can help by reminding ourselves, "I am here for you."

This evening I thought I would take us in a slightly different direction than our dharma sharings in recent weeks. For a long long time I have been very interested in certain aspects of Japanese culture. One concept from early on captured my attention, that of Wabi-Sabi. There are many ways in which to think about this idea, but if someone asked me to briefly explain I would say something along the lines of there being beauty in imperfection. If you dig a little deeper into the term you will find it can be used to describe a group of feelings and ideas related to impermanence, imperfection and also extends to include feelings of melancholy.

Interestingly, this concept is placed at the center of many aspects of Japanese aesthetics, art and culture. The idea that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect can be contrasted with what we in the West place at the center of our own notions of beauty and perfection. In his wonderful book Wabi-sabi: for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers Leonard Koren explores how this truth comes from the observation of nature:

Dear friends,

I’m not sure how you experienced January 1st this year. For me, it came and went all in a blur of uncertainty and unrest. This year, more than ever, I am so happy to have another chance-- to greet the Lunar New Year, the Year of the Ox, and to honor Thich Nhat Hanh and our many sangha members, friends and family across the world on this important holiday.

We will celebrate the New Year tonight by practicing the Five Touchings of the Earth together. This is a regular practice in Plum Village and a sacred way to express gratitude and generate joy. It’s an occasion that brings us into touch with the earth and its reality. It’s a time to reflect on the land we live on and all of the ancestors who made it available to us. It’s a time to begin anew, with fresh plans and renewed vigor. If you choose to do prostrations that allow your full body to be in touch with the ground/floor beneath you, you may prepare a space before sangha with a yoga mat or rug to support you. Alternate seated or half-prostrations will be demonstrated…

I remember the first time I was struck by the sound of silence. I was nineteen years old and had recently arrived from Puerto Rico to attend college in Florida. I had never noticed how loud the vibrations of silence could feel. During that stage of my life all I could associate with silence was pure loneliness. The next day I called my mother to tell her that I was returning home. Looking back at all the lessons I have learned about living with silence since then, I am grateful that she opposed my return.

The memories of my childhood bring me back to a warm island so small that there was little physical space between people. In that convivial society I regularly heard all kinds of conversations and/or music coming from open windows. While reading for pleasure was not commonly practiced in my circle, there was a rich oral tradition. I often found myself in gatherings in which everyone was expected to participate in conversations no matter how trivial. Reading in public, at the dinner table or to each other was unheard of. Other than in Catholic ceremonies, sitting in silence with others was quite rare. I was taught to believe that being silent was lonely and anti-social…

Last week we shared the 5 Mindfulness Trainings together with a focus on the 1st Training, Reverence for Life. Adriana and Annie shared with us the atrocities of violence and killings of Black, Brown, and Indigenous people, and that many in this country do not acknowledge or value all beings. They went on to share that if we truly practiced Reverence for Life, we could begin to "remove the borders in our hearts and give the same value to all lives." I thank them for these reminders of awakening to the suffering of all beings and to come back to the true practice of mindfulness, respect, and understanding for all lives.

This week, Adriana and Annie will co-facilitate. We will read the Five Mindfulness Trainings and dive deeply into the First.

Last month, I listened to members of our sangha beautifully reading the first mindfulness training: Reverence for Life. It resonated so clearly in my heart and unveiled the long way we have to walk as practitioners to be close to the real meaning of this training.

There is no doubt that the life of white people is valued immensely more than the life of black, brown, and indigenous people in most countries of the world. This is a fact and the basis of the systems of oppression we see in these countries.

If we contrast each sentence of the first mindfulness training with the reality that has been in front of our eyes and that we have ignored as a society, we are far from realizing this training.

When Thich Nhath Hanh describes the first mindfulness training he says:

“The first training is to protect life, to decrease violence in oneself, in the family, and in society”

To talk about what is happening in the US, where the majority of this sangha is practicing, we may recognize the atrocities of slavery and the practices that have been continually perpetuated against African-Americans.

But, for a lot of liberal people, we may believe that discrimination against Latin-American migrants is a problem of the administration that ended on Inauguration Day last week…

One of the few upsides of the last year is that there is no doubt that we are living “in history”. As the famous quote by Lenin states: “There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks when decades happen.” However, one of the fiercest critics of the man behind this particular quote was George Orwell. If we have not all read Animal Farm and 1984 then we are all at least aware of their themes. I would be surprised if there is any author living or alive who has been more often quoted over the last year than Orwell. In the last couple of weeks those on the left, right and middle could all be seen/heard throwing out their various Orwell quotes in support of their own beliefs and actions of others.

So what you might think has this got to do with our practice and what if anything might Orwell be able to offer our Sangha. Reflecting on this there are some pretty rich pickings not only from the aforementioned books but also from his numerous short articles. Picking on just one of his many recurring themes is his skepticism of anyone or anything which promises happiness. Orwell, observed that at best such moments of happiness would be fleeting and astutely he observed first hand the powerful allure of promises made by leaders of returning people either to a happier past or promise of a happier nirvana like a future. He equally observed at close quarters suffering (or as we term it Dukkah) and its root causes and communicated this in words which engage readers to this day.

In our practice this evening I would like to share with you a 13 minute video that I find both comforting and nourishing. In this video the Plum Village monks and nuns are chanting Avalokitesvara. Avalokitesvara is the Bodhisattva of Compassion.

While the past several months I have practiced deep compassion for those who have suffered greatly from the pandemic, racial violence, oppression, loss of homes and loss of family members, I have practiced the least in my own back yard ignoring calls for help and understanding and causing suffering to myself and loved ones.

In the last couple Monday night gatherings our discussions have revolved around how to practice together during times of stress and how to let go of what gets in the way and to practice self compassion. The Five Mindfulness Trainings consistently remind us to practice compassion and understanding in all we do. They encourage us to build peace and happiness in ourselves and family and then naturally allowing that to radiate to others. The practice for me is to practice - and not just hear the words but to engage in body and mind.

An experience this morning reminded me of how I can easily forget to share that compassion and understanding with family. My husband who has been suffering greatly with family issues and, like many others in this pandemic, has had challenges with his business, has been reaching out for help and I have not really been present for him…

Dear Thay, dear friends,

Last week, we had a rich exploration of the Fifth Mindfulness Training, Nourishment and Healing. Many of us shared how certain habit energies prevent us from being in the present moment and how difficult it is to change them - even when we know they are not helping.

No wonder this is challenging! These practices are difficult, even in the easiest of times, let alone now, amidst growing inequality, extreme suffering and uncertainty throughout the world. After all, we interare.

This week, we will watch part of a Dharma Talk, Practicing in a Stressful Environment in which Thich Nhat Hanh describes a concrete process that can help us to transform these habit energies by carefully tending to the seeds in our consciousness. Here is a brief description of the process, from his book, Touching Peace: According to Buddhist psychology, our consciousness is divided into two parts, like a house with two floors. On the ground floor there is a living room, and we call this “mind consciousness.” Below the ground level, there is a basement, and we call this “store consciousness” In the store consciousness, everything we have ever done, experienced, or perceived is stored in the form of a seed, or a film. Our basement is an archive of every imaginable kind of film stored on a videocassette. Upstairs in the living room, we sit in a chair and watch these films as they are brought up from the basement.

The past eight months have brought glaring change, uncertainty and a new experience of life. In this experience that has often included heightened anxiety, and frustration it has become all the more apparent that just like the breath and the body, the mindfulness teachings are something that are always there for us. We always have the capacity to pause, to stop and breathe and take care of ourselves. One of the greatest fruits of the practice for me over the years has been the practice of learning to be with strong or challenging feelings…