We invite you to join us for online every first Thursday of the month morning Mindful Caregiving sangha.
Mindful Caregiving
These mindful caregiving sessions are open to all who identify as caregivers. The topics and discussions of this group will be rooted in mindfulness practice and will aim to support those in a parental role, caretaking for an elder, or experiencing another type of caregiving situation by creating a compassionate, reflective space to come together.
No prior experience with mindfulness is necessary—all are welcome. There are no restrictions to join. While there is no fee, we invite participants to offer dana (a practice of generosity) to help sustain the gathering.
Format: 7:00 am-7:25 am meditation period and 7:25-8:00 am dharma sharing.
For questions about the Mindful Caregivers group, please contact facilitator Jenny Medvene-Collins.
No previous mindfulness or meditation experience is necessary.
No fees, donations are always welcome.
Mindful Caregivers Sangha November Topic: Compassionate Communication
Readings:
“Where I live in Plum Village, every time you meet someone on your way somewhere, you join your palms and bow to him or to her with respect, because you know that there is a Buddha inside that person. Even if that person isn’t looking or acting like a Buddha, the capacity for love and compassion is in him or her. If you know how to bow with respect and freshness, you can help the Buddha in him or her to come out. To join your palms and bow like this isn’t mere ritual. It’s a practice of awakening.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh
“Self-understanding is crucial for understanding another person; self-love is crucial for loving others. When you’ve understood your suffering, you suffer less, and you are capable of understanding another person’s suffering much more easily. When you can recognize the suffering in the other person and see how that suffering came about, compassion arises. You no longer have the desire to punish or blame the other person. You can listen deeply, and when you speak there is compassion and understanding in your speech. The person with whom you’re speaking will feel much more comfortable, because there is understanding and love in your voice.”
—Thich Nhat Hanh
Jenny shares:
Being a caregiver often comes with feeling strong emotions. For me, the more difficult emotions that arise often relate to communication; either the way I am speaking or listening to myself or entering communication with others. Recently, there was an incident in my caregiving journey which deeply frightened and worried me. I felt many strong emotions arise inside of me – anger, fear, guilt, just to name a few.
I love the practice of looking at every single person we meet and trusting that there is a Buddha inside them, despite whatever words or actions may be coming from them in the moment. This kind of deep respect for another person can invite compassion or love to lift up inside them.
The practice of mindfulness has such an impact not only on how we speak and listen to each other, but how and if we’re able to trust that there are truly seeds of love in everyone we meet.
In this situation, I had a really hard time doing that. I was expecting to hear certain words that would explain the incident that had occurred - words of apology, of compassion, and that isn’t what I received. I found myself working hard to return to my breath and having to give myself space from the initial conversation with those I felt harm from, because I was not able to realize the Buddha inside of them.
I was temporarily unable to see past my strong emotions to carry on a compassionate conversation that I could feel proud of. I was able to return (after much mindful breathing) but it was still challenging to look straight through their words and actions and trust in the inherent compassion underneath. Still, I found reassurance in the understanding that there must be a Buddha at their core, even if I couldn’t clearly see it at that time.
I wonder a few things:
-Who are the people we encounter in our caregiver lives that feel easier to have compassionate and loving communication with?
-Is there anyone with whom it feels more challenging to recognize the inner Buddha? What makes it more challenging?
-Lastly, how are we communicating with ourselves when strong emotions arise?
I would love to hear from other caregivers about your experiences with compassionate communication in your caregiving journeys – the ease, the challenges, and all that lies in between.